Looks Just Like the Sun
by jasperose
Summary: After the near-drowning incident, Bella decides it's time to give Paris his chance. New Moon BxJ


_this is the first go I've had with a Twilight fanfic. This one has been on my mind for a while. The first little bit is taken directly from New Moon (ch. 16 p. 375-376). The title is a Broken Social Scene song, if you were wondering._

* * *

_Looks Just Like the Sun_

Jacob stopped the truck in front of my dark house, cutting the engine so it was suddenly silent. Like so many other times, he seemed to be in tune with my thoughts now.

He threw his other arm around me, crushing me against his chest, binding me to him. Again, this felt nice. Almost like being a whole person again.

I thought he would be thinking of Harry, but then he spoke, and his tone was apologetic. "Sorry. I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bells. I swear I don't mind. I'm just so glad you're okay that I could sing—and that's something no one wants to hear." He laughed his throaty laugh in my ear.

My breathing kicked up a notch, sanding the walls of my throat.

Wouldn't Edward, indifferent as he might be, want me to be as happy as was possible under the circumstances? Wouldn't enough friendly emotion linger for him to want that much for me? I thought he would. He wouldn't begrudge me this: giving just a small bit of the love he didn't want to my friend Jacob. After all, it wasn't the same love at all.

Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair.

If I turned my face to the side—if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder…I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight.

But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?

Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought about turning my head.

And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear.

"Be happy," he told me.

I froze.

Jacob felt me stiffen and released me automatically, reaching for the door.

"Wait," I whispered in the shadowy cab, my voice making him pause. He turned his shaggy head towards me, his dark eyes questioning. Hesitantly, I wrapped my arms around his warm waist once more. He was tentative as he wrapped his long arms around my body, but when I made no move to pull away, he settled into my arms, resting his hot cheek against my hair once more.

This was it. Now or never; it was completely my choice. But, was I strong enough? Could I possibly give my fragile heart to my best friend? There, resting against the crook in his warm neck, I made up my mind. He was my Jacob; my fragile heart couldn't be safer anywhere else but with him.

I took a deep breath, tilting my chin slightly so my lips could connect with the side of his jaw. Again, I hesitated. I could hear his steady heartbeat as it thumped, and it was reassuring. He was solidly, constantly _there_.

Slowly, I stretched up the last few inches, and my lips connected softly with his jaw. I heard his sharp intake of breath, and his arms tightened around me. I pulled my lips away, but only slightly. His breathing hadn't gone back to normal; it was shallow, and I could feel it against my neck and shoulder.

His raised his cheek from my hair and pulled me back from his body. I let my hands remain on his waist, one straying up shyly to rest on his ribs. Jacob's uncertain gaze met mine; his brow was furrowed in question and surprise.

"Bella…?" he asked softly, his husky voice the only sound aside from my pounding pulse.

I smiled softly, meeting his gaze. There was a dark tint in his cheeks; he was blushing. I looked down, my fingers tracing lightly the skin on his waist. He took a shuddery breath, and his arms pulled me closer. I looked up at him through my lashes, and he grinned shyly.

"Jacob." My voice was quiet; it came out in a breathy whisper. I slowly raised my hand from his ribs to rest lightly on his blazing cheek. "It might not be exactly the same, but it's enough." Jake cocked his head slightly, his burning palms moving to grasp my waist. I took another deep breath, and, without breaking eye contact, leaned in to gently brush my lips against his.

He was frozen; his eyes stared, disbelievingly, at me. I bit my lip and my brow creased; had I been wrong? Was my heart _too _delicate for him to take? I looked away, out the window, my heart beating a mile a minute and my pulse hammering. His warm hand moved from my waist and captured my chin, turning my face to his.

"Bella, are…are you sure?" he murmured, gazing intently into my eyes. He was giving me a chance; a chance to take back the last few moments, to rethink what I was doing. I didn't want this chance. I wanted the chance to feel like a whole person, like someone who didn't know what it felt like to break to pieces. Jacob was that chance.

"Yes, Jake. I'm sure." I looked into his eyes, his darkest night eyes, and I took the only chance I wanted.

My lips connected with his once more, and this time, there was no hesitation. He kissed me back, feverishly, his hot breath warming my lips. I let my lips part slightly, and it was as if I'd never been kissed. There was no resistance; his lips molded with mine, caressed them. It wasn't granite-hard, unmoving; it was warm, moist, and completely Jacob.

Reluctantly, he pulled away. His eyes were still closed, and there was a goofy smile on his face. I grinned up at him and raised my left hand to trace his smile. He opened his eyes, lifting his hand to intertwine his fingers with mine.

"Wow," he muttered, still with his goofy smile. It was my smile; there wasn't a trace of Sam anywhere on his face. I laughed softly; he had no idea.

"Yeah," I whispered, looking at our intertwined fingers. The contrast was sharp, russet on ivory. His hand was so big; it completely engulfed my smaller one. This, too, made me grin.

I looked up to meet his adoring gaze once more. He grinned wider at me before leaning in slowly to softly kiss my lips. I grinned into his lips, and I felt his throaty laugh bubbling up in his chest. I didn't break the kiss; instead, I parted my lips and kissed him deeper, my hands raising to wrap around his neck and tangle in his hair. His laugh bubbled onto his lips and mine, and it was catching. A laugh escaped my mouth, and I was forced to pull away.

He didn't allow much space. Jacob's blazing forehead rested against mine. His deep, throaty laughter filled the dark cab, and mine mingled with it. It felt so good to laugh.

"Bella," he said, his laughter subsiding. I looked into his face, and he was still smiling. "You know I'd never hurt you, right?"

I nodded, my smile fading slightly. He noticed this; his large hand came to rest upon my cheek, and his thumb pulled the corner of my mouth up into a smile.

I laughed; it was impossible not to when with Jacob.

"I better get inside, see how Charlie's doing…" I told him, sighing. Harry had been one of Charlie's best friends.

Jacob sighed too, but nodded. "Yeah…it's gotta be pretty rough on him, huh?"

"For sure. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" I reluctantly unwrapped myself from his warm embrace and turned to reach for the door handle. His hot hand caught my wrist, and he pulled me into one of his bone-crushing hugs.

"I miss you already," he teased, his breath tickling my neck. I chuckled softly before kissing his cheek. Again, I turned for the door handle, and again he stopped me with a hand on my wrist.

"Bella." He spoke softly, all joking gone. He looked down at his fingers around my wrist, then slowly back up at me. His dark eyes bore into mine with unexpected intensity. "You were worth the wait, you know."

I smiled at him, brushing his shaggy hair from his eyes. "Thanks," I whispered, my cheeks colouring. "I'll see you later, Jake. And," I squeezed his hand tightly, "thanks for waiting."

He laughed his throaty laugh. "Anytime, Bells," he told me as he released my wrist and watched me with a small smile on his face as I fumbled for the door handle. I opened the door, and a wave of cold air hit my face. I heard Jacob gasp as I took a deep breath and stepped out of the cab.

* * *

_tell me what you think; I've never given Twilight a go before._

_JASPERRRRRROSE!_


End file.
